The Difficult Path to The Simple Life
From city girl to simple life
I grew up in the city. Life was fast, competition was fierce and downtime was considered a luxury. Meals were often eaten on the go as I rushed from appointment to appointment; From the train to work; From home to school and back again. Always rushing.
Always stuck in never-ending traffic, or alone in a crowd on the train as everybody averted their eyes from each other and looked down at their phones. Always scurrying around with everyone else stuck in the rat race, just trying to get through the day. Get through Life.
I’d look up sometimes and see nothing but grey; Grey concrete shooting high into the sky on a backdrop of grey skies. And I lived in one of the greenest cities in the world! Still, it never felt natural to me, and I often found myself stressed, overwhelmed, anxious and depressed.
I know there are lots of people who do love living in the city, surrounded by stimuli; Things to do, places to go, limitless options for dining out, a never-ending selection of entertainment, businesses open 24/7, bright lights, loud noises and crowds of people everywhere. The city teems with life, and some people thrive on that. I have many friends who do. They get their energy from the constant buzz of city life. I think it’s awesome for them! But it’s not for me.
Loving life in the slow lane
I like living a quieter, slower, frankly more boring life. I hate feeling rushed, stressed or pressured to keep up with everybody else. I’m energized by being in nature, gardening, reading, writing, solitude, having deep philosophical conversations with my closest family and friends, and spending time simply enjoying life in the moment. I once read that time is a currency, and that we all have a finite amount. I truly believe this, and I don’t want to waste mine.
So we moved away from the city to the outskirts of a smaller town. It’s still quite large, but nothing like the big city. There’s lots of land still out here. There’s nature everywhere and room to breathe. Many businesses still close on Sundays and most dining options shut their doors at 8 pm. People look each other in the eyes here and most still say hello or offer a friendly smile. There’s less pressure to run the rat race because there’s really no rat race to run.
Sure, it’s still busy here. We live off the main highway and as I write this I’m listening to sounds of rush hour traffic right outside our front door. But at night, the road is quiet and the traffic is replaced by the sound of crickets or frogs or owls or nothing, depending on the time of year. And you can see the stars when you look up on a clear night. There’s no light pollution to interfere. It’s heavenly.
We live on enough land now to grow a good-sized garden, we currently don’t pay rent where we live in exchange for taking care of the house, and I’m realizing my dreams of pursuing a simpler life where I get to stay home most days, spend quality time with my family, follow my passion for homesteading and write about it here to boot. I really couldn’t ask for a life better suited to me and my husband. But I still struggle to embrace simple living fully and completely, the way I really want to.
You can take the girl out of the city, but…
Last year when I was about 6 months pregnant with my daughter, I was working full time at a school where I had a conversation with another teacher. I told him I was also working part time at another job, substituting at other schools on the days this school was closed, starting a candle-making business from home and growing my first big veggie garden, all while being due to give birth in the middle of summer. As I told him all this, he looked at me, perplexed. Then he asked me, “why are you so busy?”
“I don’t know,” I replied. “I feel like I need to be. I like to keep busy.”
“Do you think it’s because you used to live in the city?” He asked.
I thought about that for a moment, and let his words sink in. Finally I responded, “maybe.”
My husband and I on a hike on our due date. Even at 9 months pregnant I found it hard to sit still.
Learning to let go of the need to keep up with the pace of a faster life has been a challenge for me. Don’t get me wrong; To most people looking from the outside, it might seem like I don’t have a lot going on. But I’m always busy with some project, task, commitment or self-imposed deadline I’m working toward.
I’m very goal-oriented and I care about being successful. But what I’ve been learning lately is that my version of success doesn’t need to look like other people’s. I still struggle with feeling like I need to prove myself to others; To please them and be what they expect me to be, rather than who I really am. To feel accepted. To fit in.
I don’t think many of my friends and family members really understand this lifestyle that has captivated me, and I still get the feeling some people think it’s a way for me to justify laziness and get out of working for a living, which could not be further from the truth. I just want the work that I do to be worth more than a steady paycheque and a good benefits plan. And I don’t want to rely on a pension to provide for me in my old age. I want to rely on my own skills, knowledge and land.
But I still feel pressured to prove my success through the money I earn, the title I have and the things I own, because that’s how so many other people define and understand success. A stay-at-home mom with a few bucks in the bank and dirt under her fingernails is hardly the poster child for a successful woman in the 21st century. But that’s what makes me happy. And I believe being happy in today’s world is the greatest success anyone can achieve.
Success is all relative
My version of success is not about earning enough money to pay for a fancy lifestyle. Rather, it’s about living a simpler lifestyle so that I don’t have to earn as much money to support it. It’s not about having some big fancy title or status. Instead, it’s about living a life that’s true to who I am and what I believe. It’s not about accumulating things. I’d rather accumulate moments spent with my family, in the garden admiring the miracle of life, in the kitchen cooking, at home creating and doing what I love.
I decided to write on this topic this week because I’ve been feeling out of sorts for the past few days. I’ve been struggling to find where I fit. Do my friends and family think I’m strange for pursuing this dream? Do they take it seriously or think it’s just a phase? Often I don’t talk to them about it because they can’t relate to where I’m coming from. I hardly told anyone I was starting this blog before I launched it simply because I feared they would ask “what’s it about,” and I’d have to explain it to them, feeling weird and uncomfortable and utterly “different” as I did. After all, let’s face it: this isn’t the typical 21st-century millennial dream.
On the other hand, I feel like a fraud sometimes because of my inexperience living this lifestyle. I’ve connected with some amazing people online who are self-proclaimed homesteaders, preppers, farmers, gardeners and natural-living experts. Many of them have years or even a lifetime of experience doing what I’m teaching myself to do one step at a time. I’m proud to feel like I’m becoming a part of this community, but I often feel inadequate and even unqualified to give advice, like I do here, on this blog…
Learning to trust my journey
I’ve had to remind myself lately that life is a journey, and to trust that journey. To love where you are on your path and know that’s exactly where you should be. Right now I’m in a transition phase. I’m still learning to slow down, to let things go, and to allow myself a little grace.
I don’t need anything fancy. But I do need to feel as if I’m living my life honestly and being true to myself. For me, that means breaking free from the rat race, and living a life removed from the stress and the pressures of the modern world.
A simple, slow, quiet life where I grow some of the food that we eat, make what I can with my own two hands, follow my passions, and spend as much time as possible enjoying every moment with the ones I love.
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A lot of people preach living a slow, simple life, but in reality they’re going a million miles an hour trying to keep up with their “slow simple lifestyle,” which often includes farming, gardening, cooking, preserving, educating and caring for children and even some degree of sharing it all with the world, either on social media, through a blog, vlog, podcast, etc. Not to mention all of the other demands of modern day life, including work outside the home, errands, emergencies and extracurricular activities. It can all get more than a bit overwhelming at times, and before you know it the “simple life” can feel like anything but.
I’m definitely guilty of not always practicing what I preach in this regard, and lately I’ve felt it all catching up to me.
I’ve been letting stress get the best of me these past few weeks and I’ve been feeling the physical toll it’s been taking on me. And I know I’m not the only one! Trying to keep up with the demands of daily life can keep us all in a constant state of chronic stress that’s not healthy.
Too often I find I’m so busy working that I don’t take time to slow down and just enjoy the bees on the flowers in the garden, or to have a picnic with my daughter or colour mandalas or make a Mason jar snail terrarium with her.
But at the end of the day, these are the things that fill me up and make me feel whole; These are the things that make a “slow, simple life” worth living.
So I’ve been taking time out to do more of this lately, and have been doing my best to organize and prioritize what’s truly important.
If you’re struggling with feeling stressed or overwhelmed with everything on your to-do list too, and you need some help managing the must-dos so you can free up time to actually slow down and enjoy life, I’ve got a few tips that may help.
Click the link in my bio @thehouseandhomestead or go to https://thehouseandhomestead.com/10-tips-for-managing-stress-and-overwhelm/ to read my 10 tips for managing stress and overwhelm on the homestead.
I’d love to know your tips too! How do you manage stress? Let me know down below👇
We’ve been saving up cardboard for months now. We’ve had 6 yards of mulch sitting in our driveway for weeks, and we’ve weeded the same areas of our garden more times than I can count. Not to mention, mulching our garden paths has been on our to-do list ever since we put in our main garden 3 years ago.
It’s been a long time coming, but we’re finally getting around to tackling this task and it’s about to make our work (and our lives) A LOT easier.
While I’m a huge proponent of investing time and money up front to do things the right way and make life easier right off the bat, the reality is that it’s not always feasible or affordable to do all of the things you want to do right away. This is true for homesteading and for life in general; You just have to do what you can with what you’ve got and chip away at your goals little by little.
We’re still a long ways off from where we want to be and from what we envision for this property when we’re through with it. And we still have a dream someday move to a larger property where we’ll add all sorts of new projects to our to-do list! But although some days it seems as if we’ll never be done (and truthfully, we probably won’t), it’s days like this that make me stand back and say “holy crap, look how far we’ve come!”
This is so important to remember, no matter where you are on your journey. Always take time to celebrate your accomplishments and don’t dwell on all of the things you still need to do. Just focus on the next thing and little by little it will start to come together. Take things one step, one day and one cardboard box at a time, and eventually you too will look back and say “holy crap, look how far I’ve come.”
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#humanswhogrowfood #gardenersofinstagram #gardenersworld #growfoodnotlawns #growyourownfood #homesteading #homesteadersofinstagram
(1/5) The past few weeks have been some of the most difficult to date in my occupation as a homesteader and a blogger.
I've had to do a lot of soul-searching to really, truly, deeply ask myself why?
Why have I chosen this path, and why is it important to me to share it with the world??
The truth is, I've talked about my "why" before. I don't homestead and grow food and cook and preserve and preach about sustainability and self-reliance and self-determination simply because I think homegrown tomatoes are healthier and taste better than store-bought tomatoes. Sure, this is part of it, but it's not the part that drives me to put in the long hours and hard work that goes into the line of work I've chosen.
What drives me to do what I do and to share my passion for homesteading and self-sufficiency with the world comes from a place deep inside me that sees the wrongs in our system, and wants to do whatever I can to challenge them and make them right.
I've talked many, many times about the flaws with our modern, industrialized food system, and about how homesteading is a way to take back some control over our food supply and buck this system. (Yes, that's buck, with a "b" ;)
I talk all the time about the importance of supporting small farmers and local businesses instead of big corporations, and about the importance of voting with your dollars.
And I preach the importance of community, and why it's so important to support each other and find support in your community, whether in your local community or online. Because self-sufficiency is about more than each individual person or family; It's about empowering entire communities of people to rise up and take control of their own food supply and basic needs, and break free from the cycle of dependency on the system that most of us are born into.
To me, homesteading is about so much more than the act of growing and preparing food, or DIY-ing your own soap or candles or toothpaste. Quite honestly, it's a way for everyday people to take back control over their own lives and throw a proverbial middle finger to "the system" and the status quo.
(Continued in comments...)
Roughly one year ago, the murder of George Floyd at the hands of a police officer brought the issue of systemic racism to the forefront of so many conversations. I, like many others, released a statement that I wanted to do more to combat racism, and to showcase more diversity in the world of modern homesteading, and you, my dear readers, stepped up with some excellent resources to get me started.
I began diving into these resources and kept coming across a term that, until then, I had never heard before. While the terms "food security," "self-sufficiency," "sustainability" and "food independence" tend to make it into many conversations related to modern homesteading, it was only when I began researching Black people in the modern homesteading movement that I heard the term "food justice," and I immediately knew this was something I wanted to learn more about and share with you here. Which is why...
This month's issue of Modern Homesteading Magazine is all about Food Justice.
The Food Justice Movement is a response to racial injustice in our current food system, and aims to help ensure equal and equitable access to fresh, healthy, organic food for people in low-income communities of colour, often dubbed “food deserts” where such food is scarce.
I’ve been so nervous to hit publish on this issue due to the sensitive nature of the topic, but it’s an issue that not nearly enough people in the Modern Homesteading community are talking about, and it absolutely deserves some of our attention.
I invite you to enjoy this issue of Modern Homesteading Magazine, and to join me in the fight for people of all races, classes and ethnicities to have equal and equitable access to fresh, healthy food.
Check your inbox for the latest issue if you’re already subscribed, or click the link in my bio @thehouseandhomestead to subscribe for free or become a member and get unlimited access to our entire library of issues. I’ll be matching and donating 100% of all proceeds from membership sales during the month of June to help advance Food Justice initiatives. You can find more info about this in the delivery email for this issue.
One of my favourite ways to use rhubarb in the spring is to turn it into a delicious rhubarb juice concentrate to mix with soda water, juice or cocktails for a refreshing bevvies all summer long.
This is one of the most popular recipes on my site, and even includes canning instructions so you can put some up to enjoy all year long! I’ve been sharing it on social media every spring for years now, but all of a sudden Facebook won’t let me post it because apparently it “goes against their community standards,” and Instagram let me post the photo, but when I added the link to the caption they just deleted the entire caption without warning.
A reader of mine who tried to share this recipe a couple weeks ago suspects that it’s because the word “shooting” appeared in the post, when I talked about our rhubarb stalks “shooting” out of the ground. I’ve since changed that sentence and appealed to the FB gods, but so far to no avail.
Luckily, however, I was able to share the recipe in my IG link, so make sure to head over there now to get the recipe before it’s too late! Maybe even print it for future reference. After all, you just never know when the Internet is gonna “disappear” your favourite recipes forever 😜
Link in bio (for now anyway) @thehouseandhomestead
Every year without fail, I wait until the last possible moment to harvest and preserve everything out of our garden, including our herbs.
Not only does this leave me stressed and overwhelmed and wanting to pull my hair out come summer and fall, but herbs are actually best when harvested in the springtime anyway, when they're still young and tender. So this year I'm getting a head start on preserving season by preserving our first batch of herbs in the spring, well before any of the summer fruits and vegetables are ripe for the picking.
Join me in the herb garden and then follow me into the kitchen where I'll show you a few of my favourite ways to preserve fresh herbs at home to enjoy all year round. Be sure to stick along til the end and enjoy a garden fresh mojito with me (wherever you are, it’s 5:00 somewhere, right ;)
Link in bio @thehouseandhomestead or go to https://youtu.be/Qr11BK5J5aU to watch the full video and get all my favourite herb preserving recipes!
So this is 34...
(1/3) When I look back on my 34 tours around the sun, all I can say is WOW! How incredibly blessed I’ve been.
In my younger years, I had the privilege of travelling around the world and living abroad 3 times, long before borders closed and travelling became more of a nightmare than a dream.
When I returned home to my roots, I completed my second degree in education (my first degree is in journalism) and I married the love of my life. During these years of schooling and settling into domestic life in Vancouver, we started learning more about where our food comes from and how reconnecting with nature could help relieve much of the crippling anxiety that I felt living in the city, so we set a goal to move to Vancouver Island where we could afford more land and start farming and gardening once we were married and I was done school. With laser focus and intention placed on this goal, the stars aligned and we made our move 6 years ago now. We’ve never looked back.
While our initial move brought heartache when we had a major accident on the way to our new home and lost a beloved family pet, I was soon comforted when I learned I was pregnant with our first child.
I also stumbled into the perfect teaching job at a beautiful little school with an ocean view, where I worked until I gave birth. But I didn’t feel truly fulfilled as a teacher. I’ve always wanted to write and create content to share with the world, but I didn’t know exactly how I would do this or what form it would take.
Then, while on maternity leave, I learned about the world of blogging, and that there were many people who have made a very lucrative career out of creating and sharing online content with the world. The lightbulb went off and I knew immediately that this was my calling. I also knew exactly what I wanted to write about and share: I wanted to share my passion for growing, cooking and preserving real food, and living a more sustainable life. I wanted to teach and inspire others to pursue their own homesteading dreams like we had, and show them that if we could do it, so could they.
Continued in comments...
I have a confession to make...
I don’t like radishes. But I love to grow them, which has created quite a dilemma in the past. That is, until I discovered ROASTED RADISHES!
Talk about a game changer! Roasting radishes completely takes the bite out of radishes (ya know, that spiciness that fresh radishes are known for). Plus, the addition of honey butter elevates even the most boring side dish of radishes to a dish you’re gonna wanna lick clean! Not that I’ve done that or anything 😳
My favourite radishes to grow are an heirloom variety called French Breakfast radishes (pictured here). They’re long and cylindrical rather than round and they’re an absolute beauty in the garden and on a plate!
But any radishes will work for this recipe. And if you’ve got some fresh thyme growing in your herb garden, toss in a few sprigs to compliment the flavours in this dish.
I’ve gone from disliking radishes to literally salivating over this dish, so much so that I had to share the recipe!
Whether or not you love radishes fresh, these roasted radishes are a total game changer and a sure crowd pleaser. But don’t take my word for it. Do yourself a favour and try ‘em for yourself:)
Recipe link in bio @thehouseandhomestead or go to https://thehouseandhomestead.com/roasted-radishes-with-honey-butter/
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#radishes #roastedradishes #radishrecipes #farmtotable #gardentotable #humanswhogrowfood #growfoodnotlawns #homesteadkitchen #nomnom #droolclub
🕷 There was a time in my life when finding a nest of spiders on my garden gate, VERY close to the handle, would have easily been considered one of my worst nightmares.
Seriously... Growing up I HATED spiders and was so terrified of them. One time there was a single spider on my grandma’s car window and I said “look Nanny, it’s Arachnophobia!” Anybody remember that movie? Let’s just say that it haunted me for many years of my life!
But when I started gardening and reconnecting with nature, suddenly spiders went from being something I was afraid of to something I welcomed on our property.
In the spring, I love seeing the garden spiders (I have no clue what they’re actually called) running around close to my fingers as I plant out seeds, many of them carrying large egg sacs on their back.
In the fall I love watching orb spiders spin their webs that capture the last of the summer rays and the first of the fall raindrops on their silky threads.
Even in the bathroom (why do spiders gravitate to the bathroom??) I always try not to kill the spiders that I find, but relocate them to the garden instead. A healthy garden is teeming with spiders and worms and butterflies and bees. A healthy garden is full of healthy life, and just like good bacteria helps ward off bad bacteria in our bodies, so too do the “good bugs” help to control the bad bugs in the garden, and spiders are one of the most beneficial bugs when it comes to that!
It’s amazing how much living close to the land changes you and gives you a greater respect for all life. As much as I’m still not ready to put my hands out and hold a spider (I literally passed out when I was a kid and tried to hold someone’s pet tarantula), I am learning to coexist with all things, and appreciate the unique purpose that every living thing serves here on Earth.
As much as it may seem like we have nothing in common, if you take a moment to just observe nature or sit in stillness by your garden gate, you’re sure to realize we all have more in common than most people might think.
Some people want an ocean view or a high-rise apartment with a bird’s eye view of the city. Me? I’ll never get tired of waking up to this (weeds and all!) 😍
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#gardenersofinstagram #gardenersofig #homesteadersofinstagram #homesteading #simpleliving #springgarden #growfoodnotlawns
My mom and dad divorced when I was just 9 months old. I have no memory of them ever being together, and remain my mother’s only child.
It was definitely a struggle at times. When I was a kid I was constantly reminded that money didn’t grow on trees and that, while we lived comfortably, there was never any extra for the “fun stuff.”
I watched my mom cry many times because of how hard it was to be a single mother on a tight income. Sometimes I would pull whatever money I had in my piggy bank and offer it to her to help pay for groceries. She always refused, but I know it was hard on her to want to give me the world while simultaneously having to use coupons just to get by, and it was hard on me watching how hard it was on her.
But while I didn’t grow up wearing name-brand clothes or getting whatever I wanted whenever I wanted it, my mom was determined to put whatever extra money she could save toward giving me some of the best experiences life had to offer and making memories together that will last our lifetimes.
When I was in high school, I had the opportunity to go on a discounted school trip to Europe. My mom encouraged me to go and told me she would help pay for it. So I signed myself up and when I found out they were looking for parents to help chaperone the trip, I immediately asked my mom to come along. I promised her that I would work hard and save up enough money to pay for my own trip so she could afford to come too.
We made it happen, and it marked the beginning of roughly a decade of adventures together travelling all over the world.
In the end, the experiences we had have helped shape me and my appreciation for all that this beautiful world has to offer, and the memories we made together will forever remain some of my most cherished.
Yes, there were times we struggled, but thanks to my mom, I can truly say that I’ve had a blessed life, and am grateful every day for all of the sacrifices she made in order to literally give me the world. She didn’t just teach me the value of a dollar, she taught me that time spent together is worth more than anything else we could possibly spend our money on.
Thanks mom. I love you as big as the world 🗺 ❤️
🪴The May issue of Modern Homesteading Magazine just dropped! This month’s issue is all about the wonderful world of herbs and herb gardening!!!
Herbs have always been an integral part of both good food and good health, often at the same time!
The great emperor Charlemagne famously said that "Herbs are the friend of the physician and the pride of cooks."
Indeed, both physicians and cooks would be nothing without herbs, and so you can see how useful having an herb garden can be for us modern homesteaders who often aim to cook most of our meals from scratch with ingredients grown on our own property AND be our family's own primary health care provider.
First up we're showcasing 10 less common herbs that are totally worthy of a place in your garden. From culinary herbs like lovage and chervil to medicinal herbs like comfrey and marshmallow and dual purpose herbs in between, if you're looking to expand your herb garden beyond the standard culinary herbs you're familiar with, this guide breaks down everything you need to know about growing and using these lesser known herbs at home.
Our guest interview this month is with CeAnne Kosel, founder of @farmhouseteas. CeAnne's journey into herbalism began with a discounted pack of calendula seeds and led her to starting what has become a successful business mixing and selling herbal teas and other all-natural herbal products. She's here sharing her story, her advice for anyone wanting to break into the business side of selling herbal products and her formula for crafting herbal teas that are as healing as they are delicious!
And of course, no issue would be complete without a few good recipes to keep in your back pocket (or herb cabinet). This month we're tipping our hats to the art, flavour and finesse of French cooking with three distinctly French herb blends that will help take your home cooking to a whole new level. Plus, don't miss CeAnne's bonus recipe for homemade Allergy Tea, perfect for spring! (Aka. allergy season).
To read the May issue, subscribe for FREE via the link in my bio @thehouseandhomestead or go to thehouseandhomestead.com/magazine.
Happy herb gardening!
Great blog post! I want to encourage you to stick with what your heart is telling you. You obviously love what you are doing based on the pictures of yourself in your element. Love your husband and your little one and evaluate each day you spend on your little piece of land by asking yourself, “Did I do today what I wanted to accomplish?” If so, keep smiling and keep plugging along!
Thank you for the encouraging words! I’m so glad that I found my passion as I know there are some people who never even discover what they really love doing because they are too busy “running the rat race” to even stop and think about it! And of course there are many more who have passions that they never pursue (or at least not to the extent that they would like to) because of others’ expectations of them. I know, even when I feel I am not living up to others’ standards, that I am doing exactly what my heart is telling me to do. If I died tomorrow, I would be able to say I lived a life true to myself, followed my dreams and put my heart into everything that I did. And that is priceless. Thanks for reading!
And Blessed we are to spend those moments along with you.. It is wonderful to see someones life taking it’s true path..
Thanks Lyndy! So awesome having you guys just across the yard. And your chickens! I mention them and their eggs often:)
A girl after my own heart! I wish women could have stayed home with their children(and I don’t mean to drive them places and always be on the go) taught them cooking, cleaning, gardening etc. And you certainly have a knack for writing as well-just be you, relax(and work hard at the same time)-therapy. A big thumbs up Anna!!
Thanks Glenda! I love being at home with Evelyn. As every mother knows, some days are trying and I even get envious that Ryan gets to go to work all day and talk to adults while I stay home and deal with crying and dirty diapers. But getting to spend time with my daughter every day, to be present for all of her milestones and to bring her into the kitchen and out to the garden with me is a priceless gift that I don’t intend to waste. I’m excited to raise her like children used to be raised: being a part of where her food comes from, contributing to our family by helping out around the home and learning the skills necessary to become a confident, self-reliant adult with a strong work ethic and moral compass. That’s my dream for my kids. I don’t care how much money they make or what their “status” is. All I care about is that they are happy, healthy and have all the tools they need to take care of themselves and their own families one day, and pursue their own passions with my full support.
Great post. I think this is something we all struggle with. It is what is expected of us. Kudos to you for working toward your dream. I too am working toward my dream of just living in the moment.
Kudos to you for working towards yours too mom:) Remember to slow down and enjoy it before it’s too late.