The Difficult Path to The Simple Life
From city girl to simple life
I grew up in the city. Life was fast, competition was fierce and downtime was considered a luxury. Meals were often eaten on the go as I rushed from appointment to appointment; From the train to work; From home to school and back again. Always rushing.
Always stuck in never-ending traffic, or alone in a crowd on the train as everybody averted their eyes from each other and looked down at their phones. Always scurrying around with everyone else stuck in the rat race, just trying to get through the day. Get through Life.
I’d look up sometimes and see nothing but grey; Grey concrete shooting high into the sky on a backdrop of grey skies. And I lived in one of the greenest cities in the world! Still, it never felt natural to me, and I often found myself stressed, overwhelmed, anxious and depressed.
I know there are lots of people who do love living in the city, surrounded by stimuli; Things to do, places to go, limitless options for dining out, a never-ending selection of entertainment, businesses open 24/7, bright lights, loud noises and crowds of people everywhere. The city teems with life, and some people thrive on that. I have many friends who do. They get their energy from the constant buzz of city life. I think it’s awesome for them! But it’s not for me.
Loving life in the slow lane
I like living a quieter, slower, frankly more boring life. I hate feeling rushed, stressed or pressured to keep up with everybody else. I’m energized by being in nature, gardening, reading, writing, solitude, having deep philosophical conversations with my closest family and friends, and spending time simply enjoying life in the moment. I once read that time is a currency, and that we all have a finite amount. I truly believe this, and I don’t want to waste mine.
So we moved away from the city to the outskirts of a smaller town. It’s still quite large, but nothing like the big city. There’s lots of land still out here. There’s nature everywhere and room to breathe. Many businesses still close on Sundays and most dining options shut their doors at 8 pm. People look each other in the eyes here and most still say hello or offer a friendly smile. There’s less pressure to run the rat race because there’s really no rat race to run.
Sure, it’s still busy here. We live off the main highway and as I write this I’m listening to sounds of rush hour traffic right outside our front door. But at night, the road is quiet and the traffic is replaced by the sound of crickets or frogs or owls or nothing, depending on the time of year. And you can see the stars when you look up on a clear night. There’s no light pollution to interfere. It’s heavenly.
We live on enough land now to grow a good-sized garden, we currently don’t pay rent where we live in exchange for taking care of the house, and I’m realizing my dreams of pursuing a simpler life where I get to stay home most days, spend quality time with my family, follow my passion for homesteading and write about it here to boot. I really couldn’t ask for a life better suited to me and my husband. But I still struggle to embrace simple living fully and completely, the way I really want to.
You can take the girl out of the city, but…
Last year when I was about 6 months pregnant with my daughter, I was working full time at a school where I had a conversation with another teacher. I told him I was also working part time at another job, substituting at other schools on the days this school was closed, starting a candle-making business from home and growing my first big veggie garden, all while being due to give birth in the middle of summer. As I told him all this, he looked at me, perplexed. Then he asked me, “why are you so busy?”
“I don’t know,” I replied. “I feel like I need to be. I like to keep busy.”
“Do you think it’s because you used to live in the city?” He asked.
I thought about that for a moment, and let his words sink in. Finally I responded, “maybe.”
My husband and I on a hike on our due date. Even at 9 months pregnant I found it hard to sit still.
Learning to let go of the need to keep up with the pace of a faster life has been a challenge for me. Don’t get me wrong; To most people looking from the outside, it might seem like I don’t have a lot going on. But I’m always busy with some project, task, commitment or self-imposed deadline I’m working toward.
I’m very goal-oriented and I care about being successful. But what I’ve been learning lately is that my version of success doesn’t need to look like other people’s. I still struggle with feeling like I need to prove myself to others; To please them and be what they expect me to be, rather than who I really am. To feel accepted. To fit in.
I don’t think many of my friends and family members really understand this lifestyle that has captivated me, and I still get the feeling some people think it’s a way for me to justify laziness and get out of working for a living, which could not be further from the truth. I just want the work that I do to be worth more than a steady paycheque and a good benefits plan. And I don’t want to rely on a pension to provide for me in my old age. I want to rely on my own skills, knowledge and land.
But I still feel pressured to prove my success through the money I earn, the title I have and the things I own, because that’s how so many other people define and understand success. A stay-at-home mom with a few bucks in the bank and dirt under her fingernails is hardly the poster child for a successful woman in the 21st century. But that’s what makes me happy. And I believe being happy in today’s world is the greatest success anyone can achieve.
Success is all relative
My version of success is not about earning enough money to pay for a fancy lifestyle. Rather, it’s about living a simpler lifestyle so that I don’t have to earn as much money to support it. It’s not about having some big fancy title or status. Instead, it’s about living a life that’s true to who I am and what I believe. It’s not about accumulating things. I’d rather accumulate moments spent with my family, in the garden admiring the miracle of life, in the kitchen cooking, at home creating and doing what I love.
I decided to write on this topic this week because I’ve been feeling out of sorts for the past few days. I’ve been struggling to find where I fit. Do my friends and family think I’m strange for pursuing this dream? Do they take it seriously or think it’s just a phase? Often I don’t talk to them about it because they can’t relate to where I’m coming from. I hardly told anyone I was starting this blog before I launched it simply because I feared they would ask “what’s it about,” and I’d have to explain it to them, feeling weird and uncomfortable and utterly “different” as I did. After all, let’s face it: this isn’t the typical 21st-century millennial dream.
On the other hand, I feel like a fraud sometimes because of my inexperience living this lifestyle. I’ve connected with some amazing people online who are self-proclaimed homesteaders, preppers, farmers, gardeners and natural-living experts. Many of them have years or even a lifetime of experience doing what I’m teaching myself to do one step at a time. I’m proud to feel like I’m becoming a part of this community, but I often feel inadequate and even unqualified to give advice, like I do here, on this blog…
Learning to trust my journey
I’ve had to remind myself lately that life is a journey, and to trust that journey. To love where you are on your path and know that’s exactly where you should be. Right now I’m in a transition phase. I’m still learning to slow down, to let things go, and to allow myself a little grace.
I don’t need anything fancy. But I do need to feel as if I’m living my life honestly and being true to myself. For me, that means breaking free from the rat race, and living a life removed from the stress and the pressures of the modern world.
A simple, slow, quiet life where I grow some of the food that we eat, make what I can with my own two hands, follow my passions, and spend as much time as possible enjoying every moment with the ones I love.
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Happy (Canadian) Thanksgiving!
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Which of these tools do you already have?
Which ones are next on your list to invest in??
What are your go-to tools to use around your house and homestead??? (Duct tape totally counts 😉)
Let me know in the comments below! 👇
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For me, it’s this guy right here.
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When we were getting chickens, he built our chicken coop. When I wanted to put in new garden beds, he built them. Deck? Done! Firewood? Chopped! Bathroom? Remodelled! Car broken down? Fixed! (Did I mention he’s a trained mechanic too?)
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I’ve been feeling pulled to slow down and retreat into my home lately; To turn off the news and social media and focus on the tangible things like lighting the wood stove, preserving the mountains of food still coming out of the garden, and slowly stirring a pot of soup as it cooks on the stovetop.
With everything that’s going on in the world right now, I know I’m not the only one feeling pulled toward hearth and home. This is a heavy time for all of us. No one person is meant to bear the weight of the world on their shoulders, but I've heard from so many people lately who say that's exactly how they've been feeling.
If you read my post from a few days ago, you know I’ve been feeling like that too, but luckily, I've learned how to soothe my soul in difficult times.
And so that's what I've been doing lately...
I've been focusing on the tangible things that I can control, like cooking meals and preserving food.
I've been lingering a little longer in the morning, taking time to sit by the river or sip my coffee in front of the wood stove before hurrying on with my day.
And I've been making a conscious effort to turn off the noise of the outside world and give my family and my own emotional health my full attention.
If you've also been feeling that pull to turn off all of the noise and immerse yourself in more nourishing, productive activities, I want to tell you about a collection of resources that will help you do just that.
The Simple Living Collective’s Autumn Issue includes seasonal guides, tutorials, e-books, recipes and more to help you slow down and reconnect with what matters this season.
* Learn how to forage for healing herbs and how to make your own natural medicine
* Find new ways to celebrate old traditions, and create new seasonal traditions with your family
* Discover new seasonal recipes and crafts to do on your own or with your kids
And much more.
If this sounds like it’s exactly what you're in need of right now, check out the Simple Living Collective and get the Autumn Issue for just $25. But this issue is only available until tomorrow, so don't wait…
Link in bio @thehouseandhomestead to grab it now before it disappears 🍁
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While I do use a fair amount of jalapeños to make homemade salsa, I’m always left with more than I need. And personally, I don’t like fresh jalapeños. I prefer them pickled. And if I’m going to pickle them, I may as well ferment them and make them both tastier AND healthier while preserving them to eat throughout the year,
Fermented jalapeños have actually become one of my favourite ferments, and probably my favourite way to enjoy jalapeños too! Plus, they’re so incredibly easy to make. All you need are jalapeños, some water and salt. (A few jars and some @masontops pickle pebbles help too 😉)
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Or, if you really like heat, just grab a fork and eat some straight out of the jar! (Maybe keep a glass of milk on hand to cool your mouth down… just in case;)
If you don’t have ay jalapeños but have other hot peppers (or any type of peppers), just sub them for the jalapeños. This recipe can be used to #ferment any type of peppers:)
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I laid in bed the other night and couldn’t sleep.
I know that probably doesn’t sound out of the ordinary, especially considering the collective stress we’ve all been through over the past year and a half. But if I’m being totally honest, I’ve done a pretty good job of not letting it get to me.
I used to have really bad anxiety, and I made a conscious effort to learn how to manage it in (mostly) healthy, natural ways. I practice a lot of gratitude every day, and overall I’ve learned to deal with stress, anxiety and negative thoughts pretty well.
Lately though, I’ve been feeling the weight of it all. Aside from dealing with personal issues like our ongoing infertility/pregnancy loss journey and the every day stresses we all face, the bigger things have been feeling bigger and heavier lately; The mandates, the politics, the pushback, the arguments and attacks online, the divisiveness, and the seemingly never-ending pandemic that every single one of us is still dealing with in some capacity.
I’ve been seeing more and more calls to “choose a side.” I’ve witnessed my own close friends on both sides of the debate hurling insults at each other, defending their ground, and refusing to listen to each other’s valid points and concerns.
I’ve even witnessed a widening crack in the homesteading community, despite the fact that so many of our core values and beliefs align and are unique to us.
Despite the division, I would still argue that ALL of us have much more in common than not, and to see the divide continuing to deepen has started to get under my skin lately.
(Continued in comments…)
🍁 There's something almost magical about the changing of the seasons, and especially the transition from summer to fall.
For us homesteaders, summers are often chaotic and offer lots of projects and distractions to keep us busy, but fall beckons us to slow down and focus on what we want out of this life and what sort of changes and transitions we need to make to get to where we ultimately want to be.
This latest issue of Modern Homesteading Magazine reflects this spirit of change and honours the many transitions that this season brings.
From transitioning our homes and gardens for the fall and winter to transitioning our kids back to school, we're covering a wide range of topics to help you to make the most of this season before we transition to the next.
And speaking of changes and transitions, I'm very excited to announce a brand new format and vision for Modern Homesteading Magazine.
As we celebrate two years in publication and 24 monthly issues on topics ranging from organic gardening to herbal medicine to raising livestock to fermentation and just about everything in between, the time has come for the magazine to expand, diversify and transition from a monthly publication to a seasonal one.
This will also be the last issue of Modern Homesteading Magazine that we're offering for free.
If you're already a paid member, nothing will change and you'll continue to enjoy full access to our entire library of past, present and future issues.
If you're not a member yet but you'd like to continue to receive each new issue and get full access to our entire library of past issues, you can still do so for the super low introductory rate of just $7.99/year.
A huge thanks to @planttherapy for sponsoring yet another issue!
Plant Therapy's fall collection is out now, along with their vast selection of essential oils, home and body care products, CBD oils and more! Shop now and get 10% off site-wide when you use code HOMESTEAD at checkout.
I hope you enjoy everything that this issue has to offer, and that it inspires you to make the most of the season.
Link in bio @thehouseandhomestead to become a member or subscribe and read your first issue for free!
Fun fact: The word “ferment” comes from the Latin word “fervere,” which means “to boil.”
During fermentation, wild yeasts and bacteria feed off of the sugars in food and produce carbon dioxide, which is what makes the signature bubbles in fermented foods.
It’s thought that this bubbling action -which looks similar to the bubbles produced during boiling- is what gave fermentation its name.
But fermentation itself dates back even further than that. The earliest known evidence of humans fermenting foods on purpose comes from Neolithic China.
Fermentation is also incredibly widespread. In fact, practically every culture on Earth includes some sort of fermented foods and/or beverages as part of their culture and traditional foods.
The three recipes in the latest issue of Modern Homesteading Magazine are a good example of this diversity as they come from three different parts of the world.
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Get all of these recipes and learn all about the wonderful world of fermentation while you still can by subscribing to Modern Homesteading Magazine. Right now you can subscribe for free and you’ll still get the weekend to read through this issue before the Fall issue drops next Monday.
Or, if you want unlimited access to this issue, along with every other issue of the magazine, you can still become a member for the super low introductory rate of just $7.99/year!
Link in bio @thehouseandhomestead to subscribe for free or become a member and get unlimited access to our entire library of issues packed with helpful information, resources and exclusive recipes!
#modernhomesteading #homesteading #fermenting #fermentedfoods #fermentation #sauerkraut #kimchi
Great blog post! I want to encourage you to stick with what your heart is telling you. You obviously love what you are doing based on the pictures of yourself in your element. Love your husband and your little one and evaluate each day you spend on your little piece of land by asking yourself, “Did I do today what I wanted to accomplish?” If so, keep smiling and keep plugging along!
Thank you for the encouraging words! I’m so glad that I found my passion as I know there are some people who never even discover what they really love doing because they are too busy “running the rat race” to even stop and think about it! And of course there are many more who have passions that they never pursue (or at least not to the extent that they would like to) because of others’ expectations of them. I know, even when I feel I am not living up to others’ standards, that I am doing exactly what my heart is telling me to do. If I died tomorrow, I would be able to say I lived a life true to myself, followed my dreams and put my heart into everything that I did. And that is priceless. Thanks for reading!
And Blessed we are to spend those moments along with you.. It is wonderful to see someones life taking it’s true path..
Thanks Lyndy! So awesome having you guys just across the yard. And your chickens! I mention them and their eggs often:)
A girl after my own heart! I wish women could have stayed home with their children(and I don’t mean to drive them places and always be on the go) taught them cooking, cleaning, gardening etc. And you certainly have a knack for writing as well-just be you, relax(and work hard at the same time)-therapy. A big thumbs up Anna!!
Thanks Glenda! I love being at home with Evelyn. As every mother knows, some days are trying and I even get envious that Ryan gets to go to work all day and talk to adults while I stay home and deal with crying and dirty diapers. But getting to spend time with my daughter every day, to be present for all of her milestones and to bring her into the kitchen and out to the garden with me is a priceless gift that I don’t intend to waste. I’m excited to raise her like children used to be raised: being a part of where her food comes from, contributing to our family by helping out around the home and learning the skills necessary to become a confident, self-reliant adult with a strong work ethic and moral compass. That’s my dream for my kids. I don’t care how much money they make or what their “status” is. All I care about is that they are happy, healthy and have all the tools they need to take care of themselves and their own families one day, and pursue their own passions with my full support.
Great post. I think this is something we all struggle with. It is what is expected of us. Kudos to you for working toward your dream. I too am working toward my dream of just living in the moment.
Kudos to you for working towards yours too mom:) Remember to slow down and enjoy it before it’s too late.